With Reckless Abandon

It was early morning, Linkin Park videos blasting in the background, when I decided it was time. What the frak? I had no idea that Chester Bennington, the lead vocalist of Linkin Park, had tragically passed away in 2017. Emily Armstrong is now the new female vocalist, collaborating with Mike Shinoda on their latest projects, adding a fresh perspective to the band's sound.

So, what does this have to do with Van Gogh? Well… he was a troubled soul, and most people are familiar with the struggles he faced in his life. This resonates deeply with me because my daughter, Danielle, was also a troubled soul. While their issues were different, both Vincent and Danielle left us far too soon. Linkin Park’s music often mirrors my own feelings of sadness during times of grief. When I'm struggling, replacing most of my usual playlist with Linkin Park helps pull me back up. Songs like "Shadow of the Day" lift me from the depths of despair, a feeling that both Vincent and Danielle knew all too well. I miss them both and who they could have been.

Armed with blues, greens, whites, and a touch of black, it was time to tackle the hills. Frak it! What do I have to lose? When you've lost important people in your life, what’s the loss of a painting worth? A hundred years from now, when this painting ends up in a landfill, will it really matter? It’s all about the journey—the endless, introspective journey of thoughts swirling in my mind. And yes, in this moment, I instantly, miss, her. I am lost.

Getting lost (once again) in my art and music-making pulls me up, giving me the strength to soar once again to heights I’ve never reached before. It’s all about the journey through life. Even though we surround ourselves with people we love, we enter life alone, and one quick day later, we leave it the same way we came in. So, let’s paint a picture or create a musical memory that others can enjoy, something that will outlast us. Forever…

4:47 am, Tuesday, September 10th, 2024.